---Links ---Humour ---Stupid People ---Web-Cam ---Narcissism ---WrestlePage---
© bjciii 2005-2007
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a New Jersey
Devils fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Devils
Not really knowing what an Devils fan is, but wanting to be liked by
their teacher, their hands fly into the air. There is, however, one
exception. A little girl has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
“Because I’m not an Devils fan,” she retorts.
“Then,” asks her teacher, “what are you?”
“I’m a proud Philadelphia Flyers fan,” boasts the little girl. The teacher
is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the little girl why
she is a Flyers fan.
“Well, my Dad and Mom are Flyers fans, so I’m a Flyers fan too,” she responds.
The teacher is now angry. “That’s no reason,” she says loudly. “What if your
Mom was a moron and your Dad was an idiot. What would you be then?”
“Oh,” says the little girl. “Well, then I’d be an Devils fan.”
When Jane initially met Tarzan of the jungle, she was attracted to him,
and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex.
"Tarzan not know sex," he replied.
Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said, "Oh... Tarzan use hole
in trunk of tree."
Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong!!! but I will show you
how to do it properly."
She took off her clothes and laid down on the ground. "Here," she said,
"You must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth... stepped closer to Jane, and then gave
her an almighty kick right in the crotch.
Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually
she managed to gasp for air and screamed, "What did you do that for?"
"Tarzan check for bees."
Two boys are playing hockey on the pond at Boston Common when one is
attacked by a vicious rottweiler.
Thinking quickly, the other boy took his hockey stick and managed to
wedge it down the dog's collar and twist, luckily breaking the dog's neck
and stopping its attack.
A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident and rushes over to
interview the boy. "Young Bruins fan saves friend from vicious animal," he
starts writing in his notebook.
"But I'm not a Bruins fan," the little hero replied.
"Sorry. Since we're in Boston, I just assumed you were," said the
reporter and starts again. "Red Sox fan rescues friend from
horrific attack" he continued writing in his notebook.
"I'm not a Red Sox fan either!" The boy said.
So, what team do you root for? the reporter asked.
"I'm a Yankees fan!" the child beamed.
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes:
"Little Bastard from New York Kills Beloved Family Pet."
A nine year old boy asks his mother, "Is God male or female?"
After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well God is both male and female."
This confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
"Well," she says, "God is both black and white."
This really confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?"
Feeling a bit out of her depth, but wanting to be consistent, the mother
answers, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."
At this the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks...
"Is Michael Jackson God?"